A Mother Finds Herself Again, Gets Back to Life

By Gina Harper
Special to between us
Posted: June 27, 2003

Editor's note: Gina Harper was stunned to learn she had epilepsy after an unrelated hospital visit. Read her account of learning how to adapt - both for her sake and her children's.

I'm 40 years old, married and have two children. Two weeks after graduating from high school in 1981, I married the most wonderful man in the world and we immediately set goals for what we determined would be the marriage of a lifetime.

We agreed immediately not to have kids until we'd been married five years. We felt strongly that the time together as a couple would create a very strong foundation for our future.

Following the Plan

Just as planned, five years later I delivered our first child. A beautiful little girl named Jamie came into our lives. I had a normal pregnancy, but a very difficult birth that resulted in a caesarean section. The entire episode was enough to make me wait more than four years before having another child. Our second child was a precious little boy named Eric.

Because of the difficulties during my first child's birth, we knew going in that Eric would also be delivered by caesarean section. At age 28, I knew this would be the last. We had what was to us the perfect family - two children, one girl and one boy.

Eight weeks after delivering Eric, I became very ill. I was rushed to the hospital with an acute kidney infection. I was in the hospital for seven days on IV antibiotics.

On the day I was to be discharged from the hospital, my husband was helping me pack and I was getting dressed to go home. I passed out and had a grand mal seizure. Lucky for me, my doctor had just left my room and was at the nurse's station when my husband went running into the hall for help. The medical staff immediately came to my aid and saw the seizure. Needless to say, this episode cost me another day in the hospital.

After numerous tests, there was no real conclusion as to why I had the seizure, but additional testing would be done in six weeks when my body was back to or close to normal.

Finding Out, Wondering Why

I was referred to a neurologist and tests were performed again at the end of the six-week waiting period. The results of this test versus the test done in the hospital showed conclusively - after an abnormal EEG - that I had epilepsy. I was stunned.

I was told I'd had epilepsy all my life, but it took my body hitting rock bottom with the severe kidney infection to trigger it.

What is said about illness is true: people go through a process of shock, denial, bitterness and finally acceptance. I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong for this to happen, especially during the greatest time of my life. I had a 4-year-old and an 8-week-old baby that depended on me. For the first time in my life, I felt totally helpless.

The hardest part for me came when my doctor told me I couldn't drive for a year. He said I needed to go a year with no seizures before my driver's license would be returned to me.

Learning to Adjust

I was put on a seizure medication that made me extremely groggy. Routine, everyday functioning was a major ordeal until my body got used to it. I don't remember much about my son's first year of life. I see pictures and can't remember some of the stages he went through because of the heavy dosage of medication I was on.

I really don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for my family and friends lending a hand with my kids and driving me all around town.

I took the instructions my doctor gave me very seriously because I knew if I didn't, I was not only endangering my own life, but the lives of others.

I went seizure-free for eight years until I forgot my medicine one day and had another hard seizure. My co-workers thought I had died and called an ambulance. There were a couple of other forgotten medication escapades that caused seizures. There is now a network amongst my family and friends who know what to look for in case it happens again.

The nightmare of dealing with epilepsy, day-to-day medication and numerous limitations has been an ordeal for close to 12 years, but overall I'm blessed to lead a fairly normal life.

I had learned to deal with life and epilepsy and was doing pretty well until the day my daughter had a seizure in the fifth grade and I was told she had inherited epilepsy from me. She went through five years of medication and limited activities. Praise God, she had two clean EEGs and was taken off medication. She hasn't had a seizure in a year and is looking forward to a life hopefully free of medication and fewer restrictions.

Problems Go Beyond the Physical

Epilepsy not only caused me physical problems, but stimulated a host of emotional problems I never dreamed I'd have. That once bold young lady who knew no fear now had real problems stepping out from the comfort zone and walls I had built around myself. I allowed the word "epilepsy" to undermine the self-confidence I had as an employee, a wife, and mainly as a mother. There were days I truly felt like a freak. I was afraid to go places and do things for fear of having a seizure in a crowd.

I had to teach my family, my friends, my husband and my children what to look for in case I felt a seizure coming on. We've had to learn to understand that mom requires much rest and doesn't need a lot of stress.

How did life ever become fairly normal? How did I overcome my fears? I realized life was passing me by; my children were growing up and I had to make up my mind that there were worse things that could've happened to me.

My tips to anyone diagnosed with epilepsy: have regular check-ups; do as your doctor instructs; stay up-to-date on new medications and technology for epilepsy; and take every opportunity to breathe in life and everything it has to offer. Most of all - take your medicine!

Editor's Note: The writer is Minister of Youth and Finances for Golden Acres Baptist Church in Phenix City, Ala.