Caring for the Caregiver: You!

Caregivers of friends and relatives with chronic disorders, such as epilepsy, often feel that they are alone, but they’re not. Caregiving is becoming more common in the United States. According to the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA), one in five adults in America serves as a family caregiver.  These 50 million Americans provide a vast array of nursing, transportation, chore assistance, financial help, homemaking and other services to loved ones who have a chronic disorder or disability, are elderly, or have other special needs. The value of these “free” services is conservatively estimated to be $306 billion annually.

As a caregiver, you’re often on-call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Sometimes the prolonged stress and physical demands can strain even the most capable person.  You want to provide the best possible care, but in the process you can pay a high price by neglecting your own physical and emotional health. In fact, caring for yourself is one of the most overlooked elements of being a caregiver.

Caregiving and Controlling Frustration

The Critical Step: Asking for Help

You cannot take on all the responsibilities of caregiving by yourself. It is essential that you ask for and accept help. Discuss your needs with family members and friends who might be willing to share caregiving responsibilities. People will not realize you need help if you do not explain your situation and ask for assistance. Remember, you have the right to ask for help and express your needs.

When to say “Yes”

Don’t be afraid to say “Yes” if someone offers to help.  Say “Yes” at the moment a person offers to help rather than saying “maybe” and waiting until you are in a fix.  Have a list handy of errands or tasks you need help with.  Keep in mind that people feel useful and gratified when they are able to help others.

When to say “No”

Often, caregivers are pulled in multiple directions. In addition to the demands of caregiving, you may feel compelled to meet the demands of your immediate and extended family, your friends and your employer. Learn how to say “No” to the demands of others when you are overwhelmed or need a break. It is your right to say “No” to extra demands on your time without feeling guilty.

Self-Care to Prevent Frustration

Caregiving can be tiring and stressful. When you’re caring for others, it’s easy to forget to care for yourself. While it may be difficult to find time to focus on yourself and your needs, it is very important that you do so to prevent frustration and burnout.

Here are three steps to taking better care of YOU:

• Make Time for Yourself

You may feel guilty about needing or wanting time out for rest, socialization and fun. However, everyone deserves regular and ongoing breaks from work, including caregivers.  “Respite” providers can give you the opportunity to take the breaks you need. Respite breaks may be provided by in-home help, adult day care, “friendly visitor” programs, friends and neighbors, or other means. The important point is to allow yourself to take a break from caregiving. See “Resources” at the end of this article for organizations that might help you give yourself time off from caregiving.

• Take Care of Yourself

Although caregiving may make it difficult to find time for yourself, it is important to eat well, exercise, get a good night’s sleep and attend to your own medical needs. When you do not take care of yourself, you are prone to increased anxiety, depression, frustration and physical distress that will make it more difficult to continue providing care.

• Seek Outside Support

Sharing your feelings with a counselor, pastor, a support group, or with another caregiver in a similar situation can be a great way to release stress and get helpful advice. You may want to contact the organizations under “Resources” below or look in the community services section at the front of the Yellow Pages, under “Counseling” or “Senior Services” to find services to help you get some caregiver support.