NoLimits Telementoring

Terminating the Relationship

How the formal mentoring relationship is terminated shapes how both you and the student view and remember the experience. Don't just suddenly drop out of sight. Adolescents may feel rejected at the loss of a formal mentor. Whether the relationship is being terminated because the end of the program has come or the relationship is not working out, the following suggestions may make the termination more pleasant for both of you:

• Set a specific date for your last conversation and inform your student of this ahead of time.
• Be honest, candid and supportive regardless of the reason for the termination.
• Talk about the reasons for ending the relationship.
• Talk about your thoughts and feelings for the student and your feelings about the termination. Encourage the student to do the same.
• Be positive and supportive, especially about what the future may hold for your student;
• If it seems appropriate, talk to the Project Coordinator about a replacement mentor for your student.
• Don't make promises you may not keep. (i.e. that you will always keep in touch).
• Focus on the progress you both made, the fun you had, and how the relationship was a learning experience.
• If wanted by both parties, discuss new ways you plan to keep in contact.
• Notify the Project Coordinator of the termination. (Contact project coordinator first.)