NoLimits Telementoring

Tips for Mentors

Partly adapted from Vermont Chamber of Commerce Business Education Partnerships manual

• Be your student's friend, not a buddy -- A friend is a person who looks out for one's best interest. Therefore, a friend never allows a person to do less than his or her best; a friend does not allow one to shirk responsibilities; a friend does not allow one to do things that will be harmful to himself or herself.
• Approach your student on a basis of mutual respect -- Your student has experienced many things you have not and has knowledge you do not have. Show respect for these things and do not belittle her for things not known or skills not yet acquired.
• Listen to the person you are mentoring without an agenda.
• Disregard the past failures of your student -- concentrate on the now.
• Always encourage the student to try -- even if the work appears too difficult;
• Do not complete assignments or activities for your student. If you help your student develop skills, independence will come.
• Help students focus on their strengths and encourage them to put themselves in healthy situations where they have to use these strengths. Reinforce, compliment, and model positive behavior.
• Be sensitive to the feelings of your student -- Move the focus from intellectual thought to emotional responses when feelings are being discussed. Ask questions such as "What does this mean to you?" and "How did you feel about that?"
• Do not be judgmental or controlling in the relationship -- Don't give lectures on ways to behave. Information, possibilities, suggestions, and alternatives may be presented, but only for consideration.
• Encourage your student to express her ideas, even if they are different from your own.
• Help students develop the ability to understand another's point of view.
• Do not be alarmed at remarks made by the student. Instead, focus on the reason behind what was said or done.
• Try to demonstrate and communicate patience.
• Always show respect for your student's parents.
• Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know something. Use the opportunity to show your student how to access and use the resources that contain answers.
• Avoid developing an inflated view of your role.
• Do not approach the relationship with an authoritative teacher role.
• Do not make false promises or reassure the mentee that things will be all right. This will be recognized as superficial. Instead, communicate a feeling for the mentee and a desire to see and understand the problem. Do not appear to be overly concerned or to assume the mentee's problem. Look for ways to demonstrate change and progress.
• Share common experiences with your mentee.
• Help the student improve her attitude toward education and learning. A mentor should emphasize that the student works and learns for herself and her own self improvement -- not for parents or for you.
• Be enthusiastic - have a positive attitude.
• Be sincere in your praise of the mentee. Always praise the attempt as much or more than the right answer.
• Do not ignore a problem! Seek help from the Project Coordinator.