Between Us

Epilepsy Has Not Defined This Woman

by Candace Hennekens,
Special to between us

One of June Meznarich's after-school chores was to feed the sheep on the family's Wisconsin farm. A cantankerous ram sheep made the chore a dreaded one. One day, when she was twelve, June and her older sister threw a bale of hay into the paddock but missed the feeder. June went into the paddock to right the bale. Her back was to the herd, and the ram came from behind and butted her.

Her head banged hard into a fence post. Meznarich briefly lost consciousness, and remembers her sister urging her, "Get up! Get up!" The girls told their mother, but chores had to be finished. It was just an ordinary incident to the family, but that fateful day set events in motion.

"I am a human being with feelings and sometimes I need to feel my feelings, cry and then count my blessings and get on with life again."
-- June Meznarich

June Meznarich would one day join thousands of others who are diagnosed with epilepsy as a result of a head injury.

Fast-forward two years. Meznarich was maturing. She still didn't know she had epilepsy.

One day, sitting on the gym mat in physical education class, she experienced a physical sensation different from anything she had ever felt before.

A tingling sensation ran up her spine, then, as she puts it, she "felt the wet" and saw a puddle of urine on the mat.

Embarrassed, she ran from the gym. Later, on the bus ride home, she confided in her sister, who told their mother when they got home. Her mother told her to change clothes and put them in the washer and get on with doing chores. Again, nothing was thought of the incident.

Meznarich's next seizure occurred when she was cheerleading during a high school pep rally. She couldn't talk but could move her body so she continued with the motions of the cheer to cover her confusion over what was happening. On the bus ride home from the game, she once again "felt the wet." When she moved over on the seat, a telltale puddle of urine was there.

At the age of 18, June and her sister were practicing a duet for their brother's wedding. Both sides of the family have epilepsy in the family tree, and her sister was familiar with what a seizure looks like. During the practice session, June had a seizure and her sister recognized what was happening. At that point, she was diagnosed and put on medication.

The seizures increased the following year, during her first semester at University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. At semester's end, she went to doctors in Madison who prescribed medication. The medicine knocked her out. She missed the first two weeks of second semester classes. When she started classes again, she was unable to do more than attend class and sleep. Her grades reflected her body's difficulty in adjusting to the medication; she failed some classes and barely passed the others. She dropped out of school.

Disappointed that she could not continue nursing school, Meznarich trained to be a nurse's aide. After two years she attended vocational school to become a licensed practical nurse. She was the first student with epilepsy admitted to the program and school administrators said they would be watching "to see how she did."

She did well. Completing the program, she worked as an L.P.N. for the next 27 years. She also married, had four children, and lived an active, busy life, all the while coping with the challenges of epilepsy.

In 1992, a pituitary adenoma was discovered and removed, but she continued to feel rotten. She admits she felt so bad that she often prayed for death until a close friend told her to pray only for good things. Meznarich started praying to be healed. In 1996, new diagnostic tests detected scar tissue on her brain. She had brain surgery.

Following the surgery, June Meznarich felt truly blessed. Feeling well and healthy for three years, she remained seizure-free and was beginning to think of herself as cured. Her medication had been gradually reduced and she had only five more days before she would be off it completely.

Then, one June afternoon last year, Meznarich rushed home from work to garden. The weather was hot and humid. She skipped lunch, and worked hard all afternoon. At 8:00 p.m., she woke up, lying on the ground in the middle of her raspberry bushes. She did not want to believe that she'd had a seizure. She wanted to blame heat stroke. But her doctor confirmed what she had already suspected. She had had a seizure and would have to continue medication.

After a period of feeling depressed, and profoundly disappointed, Meznarich has again adjusted to the reality of life with epilepsy. She is adjusting again to the medication, feeling increased energy levels, and feeling optimistic again.

"I am a human being with feelings," she says, "and sometimes I need to feel my feelings, cry and then count my blessings and get on with life again."

Meznarich left nursing a year ago and now works for the Wisconsin Department of Transportation, a job that allows her to continue her health insurance. She is an office assistant and is learning new job duties, hoping to be a program assistant.

Meznarich and her husband of 27 years tend their huge vegetable and raspberry garden together. She likes to take long walks, ride her bicycle, swim and play volleyball and badminton - "anything to get me out in the fresh air," she says.

She is active in her church - volunteering, singing in the choir and visiting elderly shut-ins.

She feels that she has had many blessings in her life, the greatest of which are her children, all grown now, the youngest in college. "I always prayed hard for healthy kids," she says, "and I am so very proud of how they have turned out. They are intelligent, healthy, and go-getting kids."

After years of living with epilepsy, Meznarich has some observations about the disorder and its effects on the individuals who have epilepsy. She finds doctors sometimes seem indifferent to the effects of medication on the person. She would like them to know how difficult it is to take massive doses of medication and then try to deal with a daily routine.

She believes people with epilepsy are "go-getters," who try harder to lead normal lives. She is willing to share her story because she believes being open and forthright about having epilepsy makes it easier for others. Barriers of prejudice and ignorance still remain. She'd like to see more barriers removed. She's done her best in her own life to prove living with epilepsy is not something to be ashamed of but the same as living with any other medical condition in which an individual has no choice.

Epilepsy doesn't have to define a person. And, epilepsy hasn't defined June Meznarich.